Flash Fiction: Friday Fictioneers Submission for 04/05/12

Recently I discovered @Madison_Woods and her blog at http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/ – she runs a column every week where people are invited to submit very short fiction based on a photograph. As a way of keeping my creative writing up (and also encouraging some variety) I’ve decided to start taking part, so in the future, I’ll be posting a very short (~100 words) piece of fiction most weeks.

Without further ado, Shelter, a piece about two astronauts on a hostile planet.

“Is this the place?” The walls had been stripped down and support beams lay at awkward angles. “Not like we’ve got another option.”

Outside, thick, chalk-like dust was lapping at the shutters of the shelter. The alien sky was an opaque ceiling of thick cloud marbled with lightning, pressing down on the ground to snuff out any life not safely hidden away as it rolled onwards.

“Place is abandoned. No supplies, no power. Air’s OK but something doesn’t seem right.”

“They said-”

“Could have been an error. Easy to forget things out here.”

“Just as easy to make them disappear.”

To find out more about the Friday Fictioneers scheme, and to take part yourself, visit: http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/100-words-flash-friday-whoo-ho-omg-theres-been-an-uprising/

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13 comments

  1. Sandra

    I was left puzzling over this one. I’m not quite sure what ‘they said’. Nevertheless, terrific atmospheric setting here, that sky made it feel quite claustrophobic. Hope you enjoy your foray into Friday Fictioneers – welcome.

  2. Madison Woods

    I loved the description of the sky and impending storm. It gave the whole piece a sense of atmosphere. I also was not sure about the conversation between the two, but I just got the feeling it was not important to know so much as it was to just set a mood. I do this sometimes with my flash, so forgive me if I’m reading it wrong.

  3. dmmacilroy

    Dear r042,

    Welcome to the party, pal. (To quote John McClane via Brice Willis. Your last sentences left me confused. Had to read the comments to sort it out. Agree with others that ‘marbled with lightning’ was the best line.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  4. Lora Mitchell

    Welcome to FridayFictioneers. I agree with the others…best line ‘marbled with lightning’…Not exactly sure what is going on here. With no supplies…no power…are they doomed? Frightening thought. Looking forward to reading more. Here’s mine-
    http://www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

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